I still hear the pain in our father's voice
When I got that call,
When he repeated your last words to me
And then broke down.
There was nothing I could do
But listen to him cry.
I sat there silently,
Listening,
To his ragged breathing
And his sobs.
The tears began to roll down my cheeks,
One by one,
Not because of what our father told me
But because I was not there for him.

I felt the impact of his words
A few days later
When I saw you lying there,
Pale and unmoving.
You looked so different,
So calm,
Surrounded by the white lining.

That scar was not there
When I last saw you.
A failed attempt
To save you.
They hid it well.

I looked up and I couldn't bear to watch.
She was crying for you.

Three roses placed
On your chest,
Beneath your hands,
As you lay there so peacefully,
So calmly.
The roses,
Two red and one yellow.
The yellow one was mine
Because I was different.

I still am different.

I chose to watch my hands
As they took what will not be staying with you.
They leave Puppy though.
He always was and always will be with you.
He rests by your side.

I continued to watch my hands
And they closed the casket
And carried you inside to
Say goodbye.

~0912990~ rev. ~121400~